My four-year-old son and I arrived to school early last Friday, so he had time to play with his friends before classes started. Normally, I would walk him to his classroom and he would give me a kiss on the cheek before he joins his classmates inside.

That particular day, however, was different. My son told me, “Mommy, I’ll go to my classroom on my own. You just stay here, Mommy.” Because this is the first time I was hearing this from my son, I asked him again, “Are you sure?” to which he replied, “Yes!”

Ouch! That hurt! Just when did he start not needing Mommy?

I asked him later that day if his teachers talked to him about going to the classroom without Mommy. He said, “Yes, you don’t have to walk me to my classroom anymore because I’m a big boy now.”

I said okay, but that still hurt!

As a mom, I’m always concerned about the safety and security of my son. When Justin was just a baby, I made sure our home was infant-friendly to avoid cuts, bumps, or falls. Aside from ensuring that he’s properly nourished, I also religiously took him to his pediatrician for his vaccinations and wellness check. I also saw to it that he’s using the right medicines for his needs. Finally and most importantly, I was showing him love that only a mother can give.

I have never changed my mothering ways from then to now that he’s already a preschooler. I have actually become more paranoid now about his well-being because he can get rough when he plays, which causes him to get hurt sometimes.

Now, my four-year-old loves going to the malls, playing arcade games, and getting on kiddie rides as much as he can. Last Saturday, when to went to Market! Market!, we took him to Blanche Kiddie Rides. It was Justin’s first time there there, and before I let him try the rides, I made sure everything was safe.

In the pictures below, you’ll see him wearing a helmet to protect his head in case he falls due to a wrong turn or in the event that his motorbike collides with another car. I also instructed his yaya to be constantly at his side to protect him from getting hurt. And because no helmet is required when riding the kiddie cars, I made him wear his baseball cap instead; that’s to protect him from the sun.


Wearing helmet for head protection


That’s Justin’s yaya in white shirt and blue pants trailing along


With absorbent cloth on his back for sweat protection


Wearing his baseball cap to protect him from the sun
I’m sure I’m not the only mom in the world who is so particular about her child’s safety. I’d like to hear your thoughts, too, on how you protect your child from harm.

After reading Mylene’s post “Battle With Bottles,” I have decided to finally get rid of all of Justin’s remaining feeding bottles because like Mylene’s daughter, my son is more than three years old already. He turned four last July, but he is still drinking milk from feeding bottles, well, not all the time, but at least once a day. He already knows how to drink milk from a glass or cup, although he still prefers bottle-feeding most of the time.

Last week, I already discarded some of his feeding bottles, but I left a few at home just in case he asks for them. I’m still a consenting mom, you see, so I’m partly to blame for his continued dependence on feeding bottles. LOL!

Last Wednesday before he went to school, I told him, “Justin, no more feeding bottles for you today; I’ll throw them away later.” He nonchalantly answered, “Okay.”

Later when he arrived from school, had lunch, and got ready to nap, he asked for milk. I said, “You’ll have milk in a glass.” I actually forgot to hide his feeding bottles while he was away, and he was quick to notice that. When he pointed to his bottles, I said they were still dirty and so he agreed to drink milk from a cup.

Now, all of his remaining feeding bottles are out of sight. He hasn’t been asking for them for four days now, and I don’t intend to bring all of them back even if he whines, so yes, I can finally say that my son is now totally weaned from bottle-feeding!

Thanks, Mylene! Your post inspired me to follow suit.

I had this conversation with my four-year-old son while I was giving him a bath last night.

Justin: Mommy, why do daddies and mommies shout when they’re mad?

Mommy: Mommies and daddies shout when their kids don’t listen to them.

Justin: Why doesn’t Teacher J. shout when there’s a kid in class who won’t listen?

Mommy: Really? She doesn’t shout? She is a good teacher, baby! If you always listen to Mommy and Daddy, we don’t have to raise our voices when we talk to you. Do you understand?

VERDICT: Mommy is guilty as charged.

I have to admit. When the going gets tough and my child won’t listen, I sometimes resort to spanking or raising my voice. I noticed, however, that things only get worse because my son simply imitates what I do. There was a time when he was playing that he told me, “Mommy, I’m mad at you.” Then, he spanked me and said, “Joke only!” Also, when he doesn’t get what he wants and he’s getting frustrated, he shouts at the top of his voice, perhaps as a way of making himself heard.

One of the downsides of being a work-at-home mom is you still manage the house and attend to your child’s needs while holding a full-time job. It takes supermom powers to juggle everything and still be on top of the situation. What happens when you need some quiet time to do your work and your son sets his drum set to full volume despite your incessant pleas for him to stop?

I’m not perfect, but ‘m trying my best to be a good mom. Last night was a wake-up call for me. It made me realize how I’m setting a very bad example for my son. I vowed last night that I will try my mighty best to not raise my voice at the slightest provocation. Please God, don’t make me a monster mom!

I also need help from other moms out there. What do you do to avoid raising your voices when reprimanding your kids?

We’re supposed to share in this week’s theme what motherhood means to us. Honestly, I never imagined myself becoming a mother because I thought I was fated to become a spinster. But much to my and everybody else’s amazement, I got married at the tender age of 24. That’s because I thought I had nothing better to do with my life at that time than be a wife.

We didn’t have children right away because I had hormonal imbalance, which was later discovered to be caused by a tumor in my pituitary gland. This pituitary growth suppressed my fertility. When part of that tumor was removed in 2004 and the rest was treated by medication, everything went back to normal, and I got pregnant in 2005.

We never thought we’d have a baby, and when we finally had one, I wasn’t sure how to go about being a mom. I was totally unprepared for it. Being a mother was painful (I delivered via cesarean section), it was tiring at its initial stages (it still is!), but it’s also the most fulfilling experience I’ve ever had. So if you’re going to ask me what motherhood means to me, I would sum it all up in two words: sacrifice and reward.

Motherhood is the ultimate sacrifice. Because you’re the child’s mom, you’re expected to do all of these things: give your baby a bath, feed him, care for him, take him to his pediatrician for his vaccinations or when he is sick, attend to his school activities, etc. You’re not excused from performing these motherly duties even if you’re also working. You now have to put your baby’s needs first before your own because he is totally dependent on you.

Motherhood is life’s greatest reward. Motherhood is God’s special gift. Not every woman is meant to become a mother, though, and I consider myself fortunate that God has made me one. I earnestly await my son’s hugs, kisses, and his whispers (or shouts) of I love you every day, and I now look forward to a lot of things that we will do together as a family. Motherhood has made my life more meaningful.

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I’ve changed my mind. I have decided to let my son stay at home for the remainder of the week and allow him more time to fully recover so that by Monday, he’s really back to his old healthy and bubbly self. I was convinced by a fellow mom, the mother of my son’s classmate, not to send my son to school today because she said two of my son’s classmates have cough and Justin might get the virus and he might get sick again. So there.

My little boy has been absent from school for seven days now. He was first diagnosed with upper respiratory tract infection and was already recuperating from it, but he developed viral rash late last week. That explains why he was still having on and off fever even if he was already receiving antibiotics. He wasn’t given anything for his skin rash, but was advised to stay home until after the fever and rash subsides. He’s already getting bored at home and starting to miss school. This morning, I received a text message from my son’s doctor telling me that Justin can go back to school tomorrow. Now, I can finally heave a sigh of relief!

Justin was absent from school last Thursday and Friday because of persistent cough. I had already taken him to his pediatrician and he was given antibiotic and cough medicine. The doctor advised us to nebulize him, too, not because he is asthmatic but to shorten the duration of the cough.


Justin nebulizing
I woke up at 3am yesterday because my son who sleeps between me and my husband could not sleep. I put my arm around him to help him fall asleep but I realized he was shaking. I immediately gathered him up in my arms, made him lie on my tummy, and embraced him tightly, but he was still having chills. His temperature was okay when I checked it.

After the chills subsided, that’s when he developed fever. I gave him an antipyretic and monitored his temperature for the next three hours. He was okay by 6am, and we went to his doctor again. The doctor said there might be other virus in his system that needs to be flushed out, so another antibiotic was given which he would take for 3 days together with the medications earlier prescribed. I hope he gets well soon. Seeing him sick is making me crazy.

Yes, I admit, I’m a paranoid mom. When it comes to my son, I worry about the littlest details. Minor cuts or bruises, head bumps, or broken lips always make me frantic. I remember when he was 10 months old, he fell from our bed and sustained a large swelling on his forehead. I was at my wit’s end as my husband and I prepared to take him to the hospital. I called his pediatrician first to let her know what happened and to ask for advice on what we should do next. She told us to observe our son for the remainder of the night and to take him to her clinic first thing in the morning the next day.

When we woke up the following day, the swelling was gone. His pediatrician checked the spot where the lump was supposed to have been and said it didn’t look like the swelling was anything serious, so we could take him home and not worry anymore. But I couldn’t be persuaded. I urged Dr. O. to let my son undergo a CT scan for my own peace of mind. The doctor said there really was no need for it, but realizing a mom’s deep concern for her only child, she relented. And yes, she was right, nothing bad happened. Justin’s CT scan results were normal. Only then did I bring my son home.

If only there’s a way I could prevent my son from getting hurt, then I wouldn’t be a paranoid mom anymore.

This post is long overdue. Sorry, Niko, it took a while for me to post this on my blog, but it’s better late than never. Thanks, dear, for tagging me.


RULES:
1. Link with the person who tagged you.
2. Copy above images.
3. Post this on any or all of your Blog/s.
4. Answer the two-part questionnaire following these Rules. (Feel free to elaborate your answers. For questions 8 - 14, post only the one (1) which you believe best describes your choice.)
5. Share this with at least seven (7) friends on your Blog Roll.
6. Come back to Living A’ La Mode (DO NOT CHANGE THIS LINK PLEASE.) and leave the URL of your Post in order for you/your Blog to be added to the Master List.
7. Have Fun!

~ Parenting Style ~
1. Do you exercise full or minimal control over your child’s / children’s behavior?
- Minimal. There are times my son doesn’t listen, especially when he really likes what he’s doing. I can’t help but give in to his wishes sometimes.

2. Do you expect your child / children to obey 100% or let her / him / them do what pleases her / him / them?
- If what pleases my son won’t pose any harm to anyone, then that’s perfectly fine with me. It’s a different thing when he does something disrespectful or hurtful. This is when he has to obey mommy 100% or else…

3. Do you welcome discussion or you simply set rules?
- I set the rules, but I am open to discussion.

4. Do you reprimand?
- Certainly.

5. Do you use spanking for punishment?
- Yes, I do. This will teach my son a lesson that bad behavior doesn’t go unpunished.

6. Do you use some kind of a reward System for motivation?
- When my son does something good, I shower him with praises, hugs and kisses. Sometimes, I tell him we’ll buy a toy he wants or we’ll go to the mall if he’ll obey mommy.

7. Do you enjoy being a Parent?
- Yes!!! I wouldn’t trade being a mom for anything.

8. Are you a hands-on Parent or do you have a full-time Nanny?
- Though I’m a working mom, I make it a point to be a hands-on mom to my son whenever I can. I’m the one who gives him his bath in the morning and evening, administers his vitamins, cuts his fingernails and takes him to his pediatrician.

9. At what age would you let your child make simple decisions for himself / herself?
- As soon as I feel he’s mature enough.

10.Do you and your Husband have the same Parenting Style?
- No. I easily give in to my son’s wishes, especially when he’s crying, but my husband
sometimes lets him cry until he gets tired of it.

~ Wife Style ~
11. How long have you been married?
- 13 years this August.

12. How do you feel about being a Wife?
- It's not easy being a wife, especially in our culture. A Filipina wife is expected to be a lot of things rolled into one: a perfect homemaker, a caring wife, a loving mother, etc. This becomes doubly hard when you're a working mom. So, to answer this question, sometimes I enjoy being a wife and sometimes I don't.

13. What has been your typical sleeping attire since you got married?
- T-shirt and shorts.

14. How do you show how appreciative you are of your Husband?
- I cook his favorite dishes.

15. What do you do when your Husband annoys you?
- I do something that annoys him back.

16. You are buying or planning to buy your first house as Husband and Wife.
- We already bought our first house.

17. How does your house look like at the end of the day when Hubby gets home?
- Neat and tidy.

18. How do you feel about running a household?
- It’s stressful sometimes, but I get a sense of fulfillment when everything is in order.

19. What is the sweetest gift you have given your Husband so far?
- Our son Justin.

Now, I’m passing on this tag to all the mommy bloggers who visit my site.

When my son Justin went to the playground with her new yaya (nanny) yesterday morning, I took advantage of that time to go to the beauty salon downstairs. I badly needed some pampering and some alone time for myself.

I actually went there for manicure and pedicure only, but I also ended up having my hair colored a different hue, which came with a bonus hair spa and hair trimming. Because I was their very first customer for the day, I was able to sweet-talk the beauty attendant into giving me a reasonable price for everything he’s done to my hair. The attendant suggested I had my eyebrow trimmed, too, so I had threading done as well.

All in all, I spent two hours and a little less than Php1,000.00 for the whole package. Many times in the past, I felt guilty doing things for myself. But not this day. I’ve been working hard lately, and I think I deserve to be pampered once in a while.

What about you? What things do you do to pamper yourself?

I am privileged to receive the Best Mom Award from three great mommies: Mommy Enchie of Sweet Nothings, Mommy Chris of The Mommy Journey and Mommy Phoebe of The Baby in Between.


Rules:
1. Show the award logo in your post.
2. Pick a picture you have with your kiddo/s.
3. Post should include your best experience as a Mom.
4. Nominate other blogger moms out there that you consider the best mom, like yourself.


My best experience as a mom: When my son hugs me out of the blue and says, “I love you, Mommy.” It warms my heart to know that my son loves me unconditionally despite my shortcomings.

I’m giving this award to all the mommy bloggers who visit my site.

This is the second week that my Tatay (Filipino term for father) has been taking good care of my son Justin while my husband and I work. That’s because we still haven’t found someone responsible to do so. Well, we thought we had one last week. But on her third day of watching over our son, Justin ended up having a bloody cut on his nose.

She said Justin was running towards her and she was holding our house keys that accidentally scraped Justin’s nose. Good thing my son has tetanus shot! Fearful perhaps of what happened, she asked me to allow her to go home to Cavite after that bloody incident. She said she had to do important errands at home but she would return to us very early the next day.

That’s when my husband and I decided we should not let her come back. We did not decide in haste, however, as we weighed the pros and cons of our action. But the deciding factor was the fact that this new yaya (nanny) wasn’t very fond of children, judging from the way she interacted with our son.

She even told this to somebody who works in the same building where we live who happens to know us. And worst, she was actually scouting up a new employer while Justin was under her care. She thought she found one, but the deal between them did not materialize for whatever reason.

I have not regretted that decision of letting the new yaya go. I would never entrust my son to someone who doesn’t really care for his well-being. My criteria now for choosing a yaya are as follows: she has protective maternal instincts, she loves being around kids and she tolerates kids’ mischief.

Do you look for the same qualities in a yaya as I do?

I can’t help but notice the way we, parents of this generation, care for our little ones. (I’m not generalizing here, though.) In our attempt to lessen the amount of work that we need to do while attending to the needs of our children, we like to take shortcuts.

1. We order takeout food instead of cooking for our children.

2. Instead of making our kids eat on their own, we much prefer feeding them, saving us the trouble of having to clean their mess afterwards.

3. We sometimes get irritated by their nonstop blabbering and questioning, so to make them stop, we force them to play or sleep.

4. Instead of reading bedtime stories to our kids or teaching them the things they need to know, we make them watch TV or VCDs/DVDs.

5. We leave it up to the nannies to do everything for our children, which makes our kids wonder if their nannies are their mothers. Ugh!

These things may be due to any of the following: (1) we’re tired from work, (2) we’re too old to keep up, or (3) we’re too lazy.

So, which of the things listed above are you guilty of doing?

My son Justin, now two years and six months old, is more clingy than ever to mommy. This shift in behavior actually started when his yaya (nanny) went home to the province last December and never came back. Perhaps, he felt he lost a mother figure there.

In the morning when he wakes up, the first person he seeks is me. When he rouses from sleep without me by his side, he cries and desperately looks for me. At night, when I’m still doing some household chores and it’s his bedtime already, he throws a tantrum, wails violently and wouldn’t stop until I come to his rescue.

I’m a work-at-home mom, and I’ve been working in our bedroom since July of last year without my son’s knowledge. This means I’m able to overhear the conversations going on in the living room between my son and his grandparents. Every day, he repeatedly asks his lolo and lola if I’m arriving anytime soon even when I’ve just been gone for a few minutes.

I know my son loves me very much, judging from the way he always wants to be with me. And I don’t have a problem with that because I love him to the hilt and there’s nothing I want more than to spend most, if not all, of my time with him. But this extreme “clinginess” has its downsides, too, such as I can’t do anything for myself anymore.

I can’t stay long in the bathroom because he’d be pounding on the door nonstop. I can’t take a nap when I want to because he’d try his best to open my eyes and make me watch him as he plays or urges me to play with him. I can’t talk to anybody for longer than 3 minutes because he wants my full attention.

My little one simply knocks the life out of me sometimes. Not that I’m complaining.

We went to Justin’s pediatrician this morning because of a viral skin rash. This was the second time this week that we paid his doctor a visit. We first dropped by his doctor’s clinic last Wednesday because Justin had fever and colds the previous night. Dr. O. said Justin was suffering from upper respiratory tract infection. We brought home a small bag of bottled medicines we bought from Mercury Drug Store, consisting of an antibiotic, an analgesic/antipyretic, a nasal decongestant and an expectorant.

While waiting for his turn to be examined, Justin walked and ran at the hospital’s hallways. When he got tired, he stayed put where his Daddy was seated. That’s when he spotted a boy his age toying with a PlayStation. Justin walked towards the boy, stood beside him and watched as the boy played.

“How old is he?” I asked the boy’s mother.

“Three.”

“Justin, say hi to kuya (older brother),” I told Justin.

“Play Justin.” Justin mumbled wanting very much to borrow the boy’s PlayStation.

The boy did not answer. That’s when I noticed that there was something different about him. For a three-year-old, how come he’s still not talking? He was also salivating, which told me he had no control over his drool at his age.

It turned out the boy’s mom contracted Rubella (German measles) when she was pregnant. And the boy became a mental retardate because of that. That was rather a sad story, but one that could have been prevented had the mom had a measles-mumps-rubella (MMR) vaccine.

Then I remembered how it was when I was pregnant with Justin. I was too paranoid of what I eat, what I smell and what I get exposed to. Because I was too afraid of having gestational diabetes, for example, I limited my sweets and carbohydrates intake, although I didn’t really know if those are the things that really cause the disease. I think this explained why I only gained 21 pounds from my prepregnancy weight of 115 lbs to my weight of 136 lbs on the day I was to give birth.

I also avoided paints, fumes and even toilet cleaners. In fact, I switched to using vinegar to clean my bathroom back then. I never missed my vitamins and prenatal checkups. I did everything my OB Gyne told me. I asked a lot of questions every time I visit my doctor to make sure I wasn't doing anything that will jeopardize the life inside of me. All for the sake of my baby.

What I’m telling here is we, as mothers, have an obligation to take care of the baby inside our womb by also taking care of ourselves. We should take all the necessary precautions to ensure that our baby is safe and healthy. And when we’ve done our part, we say a prayer to the One Up There for a safe delivery and for a healthy and normal baby.

We simply couldn’t resist my parents’ offer to tend our son Justin while we (hubby and I) are both working. That’s because I still haven’t found someone to do that. Yesterday afternoon, Nanay and Tatay arrived with their things (because they’ll be staying with us for an indefinite period of time) and a lot of pasalubongs (goodies), like ginataang langka (jackfruit in coconut milk), burong ampalaya (pickled bitter gourd) and chocolate cake and chocolates courtesy of Justin’s Tito Dennis who got home from Dubai four days ago.

Justin was so glad to see his lolo and lola. He went riding the elevator with his lolo and they played throw-and-catch-the ball game. Because he was too excited to play, he lost his footing, causing him to fall on his face and chipping his left front tooth. Hay!

Before Justin went to bed, he hugged his grandparents, kissed them on the lips and told them “Good night” and “I love you.” He was actually finding it hard to drift off and he even went to where his grandparents were sleeping to check if they’re really asleep. That’s the only time he decided to go to sleep himself.

I hope this temporary arrangement turns out okay. I hope my parents won’t be worn out from running after our hyperactive son not until I find a worthy babysitter/all-around helper. And I hope that happens soon.

“Mommy, pode (pwede) computer Justin?” (Mommy, can Justin use the computer?)

These were the first words my two-year-and-five-month-old son Justin uttered when he woke up from his afternoon nap today.

Since my work for December ended on the 20th, I spend less time on the computer these days. The only time I get to use the PC is when my son Justin is asleep.

My son now takes my place in front of the computer watching Thomas & Friends YouTube videos. This is because he only has a handful of Thomas & Friends DVDs (only three, in fact, but he accidentally broke one, leaving him with only two now). He usually spends three to four hours a day video-hopping.



I know, I know. He’s not supposed to be watching too much. But what’s a mom to do?

A recent post I read ("After Seeing the Two Red Lines...; From Dawn Till Dusk) inspired me to write about my own pregnancy. It took ten years for me to get pregnant (See my post “Justin, Our Miracle Baby.”). I hope that childless couples out there won’t lose hope of having a child of their own someday. Miracles do happen, so always believe.

How I knew I was pregnant
A day or two days before All Saint’s Day of 2005, my husband and I went to Makati Medical Center’s Emergency Room because I was experiencing an unusually heavy feeling on the left lower (or was it the right?) abdominal area. My blood tests showed nothing unusual, so we went home after I was seen by a resident. I then realized I was supposed to have my monthly period days before. I then bought a pregnancy test kit, which confirmed my suspicion. After 10 years of being married, I was finally able to conceive.

How I felt upon learning that I was pregnant
The truth is I was afraid. I had a medical condition known as “pituitary adenoma,” a tumor in the pituitary gland for which I had an operation in January of 2004. Not everything was removed, though, so I had to take medication for it that my neurosurgeon said could be a lifetime thing for me. Getting pregnant means I would have to stop the medication and risk the chance of the tumor getting bigger. I couldn’t stand the thought of having another surgery, not if I could help it.

What I did to allay my fears about my pregnancy
I prayed hard and asked others to pray for me. After my surgery, a former officemate and friend gave me an Our Lady of Guadalupe prayer pamphlet. There was a 9-day novena and apostleship to Our Lady of Guadalupe that I recited repeatedly during the entire nine months that I was pregnant. I also prayed the novena to St. Raymund Nonato, the patron saint for expectant mothers. That one was given by a friend and officemate of my husband.

Prior to getting pregnant, I happened to have been seen by a female doctor at Clinica Manila in Megamall because I needed therapy for my fingers. My medical condition came up in the course of our conversation. She said she’s going to pray for me and that she’d give me prayer cards to help me deal with the situation. She said I could come back for those prayer cards the next day, as she didn’t have copies of them anymore in her bag. She did left a note for me when I came back that I still keep to this day. One of the prayer cards called for the intercession of St. Josemaria Escriva, the founder of Opus Dei. I said that prayer everyday and requested for a safe delivery and for good health for both me and my baby. The doctor’s name was Dr. Calderon. I tried to go back to her clinic, but Clinica Manila moved to a different office, so I wasn’t able to personally thank her.

What my experiences were like being pregnant
I was one of the lucky ones who never experienced nausea and dizziness. Every day was like a normal day, except that I slept a lot and ate a lot. I was also able to work until two weeks before I was due to give birth.
The downsides: There was a time when I actually had to use the stairs all the way to the 9th floor of the building where I worked because the elevators were being fixed, and to think the stairways reeked of paint at that time. I also had bleeding on my 6th month, which scared the wits out of me. The saddest part was I was ugly, my nose was big, I had zits, and my neck and everything else darkened. I actually didn’t keep a picture of me when I was pregnant. Plus, there’s the pain of birth-giving. I delivered via a caesarean section under general anesthesia. Although Justin was quite small, 5.6 lbs only, I could not give birth to him the normal way because I had a previous head surgery. The act of pushing out the baby could put some pressure on my head and could lead to complications. (See my post “To Give Birth or Not to Give Birth.”)

The greatest reward of becoming a mother
Having a baby that gives our (my and my husband’s) lives meaning and purpose. At the end of the day, that is all that matters.

I started blogging last year and ended up with only 12 articles. That’s because I didn’t really have time to write, let alone switch on the computer when I got home from work. I still reported for work in our Boni, Mandaluyong office back then. Now that I’m working at home, I manage to squeeze in some time for writing and updating my blog. I regret the fact that I wasn’t able to document my son’s first year as much as I wanted to. But I’m making up for those lost times. From time to time, I will write about some of the significant events of that year as I remember them.