Today, I asked my 23-year-old helper to leave. That’s because I’ve had enough of her lies. She has been lying to us about her life, her family, and her whereabouts during her days off since Day 1. Her contract with us is supposed to end on August 24, but I don’t want to wait that long. We only found about her string of lies when she went home last Sunday morning.

Because I wasn’t convinced of my helper’s explanation about the cell phone number she was using when I called her last Saturday night, I called the number myself. It was my helper who first answered and I told her I wanted to speak to the owner of the phone. I just wanted to make sure that she really was where she told us she was, in her aunt’s house in Cavite. My helper said the owner of the phone was using the restroom. I said I’ll wait, but the phone line went dead. I tried calling the number again several times, but nobody was answering the phone.

When my helper knocked on my door at 8am the next day, I asked her to give me her aunt’s number, her mother’s number, and her boyfriend’s number. That’s when she admitted the truth. She was not in Cavite the night before. I also talked with her mother and that’s when I learned that my helper has already left her aunt’s house even before we hired her. Her aunt who happens to be a barangay captain in Cavite also called me last Sunday to know what misdeed her niece had done this time.

My helper’s aunt also confirmed that my helper is a big liar. She even encouraged me to scare her niece that I’ll report her to the police if she does anything wrong. She said she and my helper’s mother were already thinking that my helper is either pregnant (I’ve suspected that, too, and was even anticipating birth announcements from her) or she has done something horrible. She assured me one thing, though, that her niece doesn’t steal.

From what I gathered, my helper has a long-standing problem with her mother (or is it the other way around?) and my helper doesn’t want to go anywhere near her mother, so instead of fetching my helper from our place, her mother and aunt decided to let us handle the situation and let our helper go wherever she wants to go. They said she’s old enough to decide for herself; she also texted her mother to leave her alone.

I told my helper that she needed to tell me everything. I asked her about the things she told us in the past, and 99% of what she recounted was false. Now, if you have this kind of helper, would you still entrust your child to her? Since Monday morning, it’s Justin’s lolo (grandfather) who’s been picking up my son from school, and as always, I’m the one bringing him to school.

Today, I made my helper admit another lie, and that was it! I don’t need a liar in my house! Now, a friend has told me what her helper told her-- that my helper owed another helper in my son’s school money amounting to Php650.00. I asked my helper before she left if she has unsettled debts here, and she said none! Now, who’s going to pay for that?

I already reported what my helper did to the agency where we got her, and they’re waiting for her right now to report to their office for questioning. I’ve missed my afternoon work today waiting for her to pack her things and leave. She left our building at 1:16pm; it’s already 4:04, and she’s still not in her agency’s office.

Even before December 2009 came, our helper already informed me that she’d take her days off on December 25 and December 31. She didn’t even ask me if we would need her on those days for our own Christmas and New Year family celebrations. I yielded to her demand again.

When she took one of her scheduled day off in November, she crossed the line again by going beyond her allowable time. She left at 12noon on a Saturday, but came back the next day at around 5pm. Because I was doing my weekly grocery shopping when she came back, my husband was the one who reprimanded her. My husband even told our helper that she shouldn’t be the one choosing when her days off would be, clearly alluding to her December days off.

Our helper wasn’t her usual bubbly self when I got back from the supermarket that night. We already thought she would leave us after the dressing-down she got from my husband, but she did not.

On December 24, we were off again to my sister’s place in Laguna for our family Christmas get-together on the very same day that our helper was taking her day off. As expected, we had a difficult time carrying our things just like what happened to us on October 31. This is because our helper wasn’t available to help us on that day. Ergo, we were not able to bring home all the gifts that our son received on Christmas Day.

My husband was really pissed off this time. Our helper went home on December 26 with a very big luggage, enough to carry all of her things. I asked her, “Why do you have that? Are you going home already?” She said, “I got a bargain on this luggage in Baclaran. I only paid Php500.00 for this.” My husband, utterly dismayed, retorted, “You can go home now if you want. The next time you take your day off on the very same day that our family is also going somewhere, you better not come back.”

That was an ultimatum, not a threat. The next day, our helper resigned. She left after receiving her Christmas bonus, not to mention the other things I gave her: a pair of jeans, a silver necklace, a T-shirt (my Christmas gift for her), and assorted foods that I gave her to bring to her relatives as pasalubong on December 24.

Next time, I won’t be too kind to helpers again.

I’m sorry this post is too long, but I simply have to vent my disappointment.

It figures that our helper would leave us before 2009 ends. I’ve seen it coming, but dismissed the idea. Our helper was young, has many friends (call her Ms. Congeniality if you must), has many relatives here in Manila, has many callers, and therefore, has every reason to anticipate her days off and meet up with her friends and kin.

I interviewed her on October 14, 2009. Right there and then, she told me (not requested) that she would have her day off on Oct. 31, and she would be gone for two days, Oct. 31 and Nov. 1, because she said her former employer allowed her to do that. Our agreement was two days off in a month, but the day we hired her (October 15) until October 31 is only 15 days, and there she was already demanding for two days off! The problem was I consented.

I only realized my mistake when we had to go to my sister’s house in Laguna with a three-year-old in tow on October 31 and had to bring a lot of personal stuff (mostly my son’s) that was more than what my husband and I could handle. We don’t have a car, for goodness sake, so you could just imagine how hard it was for us to be carrying all these things while tending to our son at the same time.

Our helper got sick in November, and being a benevolent employer that I was, I offered her an unscheduled day off. She said she went to consult a doctor about her condition. It turned out she’s showing early signs of an ulcer, which she said she might have developed in her previous place of employment.

She had a follow-up checkup the following Saturday, and again, I allowed her to go to the doctor. We all left the house at 10am on that day, but went our separate ways. Our helper arrived home at 5:00 p.m., and she apologized to my husband for being gone too long. Imagine, she was out of the house for 7 hours just for a visit to the doctor!

To be continued…

Our new helper has been with us for almost a week now, but Justin doesn’t seem to be warming up to her. That’s why my work has been disrupted since Monday. When my son is taking his afternoon nap, he doesn’t want Ate A. to tap his thigh to put him to sleep or even go near him.

Last Monday, instead of resting on the sofa bed in our living room where he usually naps, Justin went straight to our bedroom, lay on the bed, and slept on his own. Ate A. offered to lull him to sleep, but he refused and he wanted Ate A. to stay as far away from him as possible.

Yesterday, I closed our bedroom so I can work in peace, and I left the two of them alone in the living room. It took Justin forever to fall sleep, and when he finally did, it was very shallow, and he woke up crying and asking for mommy. Ergo, my work was cut short again.

Sometimes, Justin would say, “Takot ako ke Ate A.” (I’m afraid of Ate A.) or “Hiya ako ke Ate A.” (I’m shy around Ate A.).

Ate A. is also convinced that Justin will never like her, and she has actually recommended someone else to take her place. There just doesn’t seem to be good vibes between the two of them. I agreed to let her go this Saturday because I already found a replacement, not the one she referred, but someone recommended by someone I know and trust.

Why doesn’t Justin like her? I think it’s because of her strong facial features, which make her look like she’s always angry when she’s not. I suggest she smile often. Then, she also doesn’t speak much. My son is a talker and always wants a playmate. If only Ate A. were friendlier and more playful, then my son could have loved her like his family.

In my post “In Search of the Perfect Nanny,” I listed my criteria for choosing a yaya (nanny), which are as follows: she should have protective maternal instincts, she should love being around kids, and she can tolerate kids’ mischief. Today, a new helper was brought to us. I realized, in the course of interviewing her, that I actually expect more from someone to whom I would entrust my son.

These are the questions I threw at her:
1. What’s your complete name? How old are you? Are you married? Do you have kids of your own? How old are they? Where are they staying? What is your hometown? When was the last time you went home to the province?
2. Have you worked as a yaya before? Where, when, and how long?
3. Where did you last work? Were you fired, or did you resign from your last place of employment? Why?
4. What is your educational attainment?

After interrogating her, I laid down my house rules, namely:
1. Drink Vitamin C everyday. This is so that she’ll have a strong immune system so I am assured that she is healthy and capable of caring for my little one. I provide for this, by the way.
2. Take a bath early in the morning and wash herself at night. I also advised her to wash her hands always and make sure Justin’s hands are clean at all times. Hygiene is very important, especially when kids are involved.
3. Don’t spank the kid, shout at the kid, or speak harsh words. Be patient, gentle, and kind.
4. Be like a kid in that she should play with my son when Justin wants a playmate. Justin is an only son and the only time he gets to be with other kids is when he’s in school or at the playground.
5. Don’t text when taking care of my son, except when it’s an emergency. My son is at the stage where he’s most active and curious about his surroundings. To protect him from harm, the yaya should focus her attention on him and him alone.
6. Tell me when accidents involving my son happened, no matter how small (e.g., a bump on the head, a fall from the bed, a cut on his skin, etc.) in case he needs to be rushed to the hospital or be given first-aid treatment.
7. Don’t go loitering in the hallway or downstairs and gossiping around.

So tell me, are these too much to ask?